ESFJ – Committed Altruist
by SEONastya • September 25, 2023
ESFJs (also known as Bonvivants, Enthusiasts, Supporters, Providers, ESE, Hugo) are nurturing, social and supportive. Their sensitivity to the needs of others and helpful spirit make them popular and well liked by almost everybody they encounter. Strong empaths, highly attentive and responsive to their emotional environments, ESFJs tend to be the glue that keeps communities together. High emotional IQ mixed with organizational skills makes them the perfect diplomat in conflict situations. A balanced ambiance and social order are paramount to their thriving. If said social order is disrupted, the ESFJ will not shy away from reinforcing it. Loyalty, tradition, and community are the three pillars on which any ESFJ stands.
But don’t be fooled by their soft-hearted demeanor. ESFJs are naturally action-oriented, productive, and practical. First work, then play – especially if the work includes taking care of others. Highly organized, they have no issues with scheduling and time management and are drawn to stability and routine.
Neat, punctual and driven, ESFJs flourish in community leadership roles where they can make sure that everyone follows the rules that reinforce harmony. Experience plays a major role in the ESFJs decision-making process. Be it their own experience or someone else’s, ESFJs sure know how to not make the same mistake twice.
Games ESFJs Like
Recommended Genres: Racing, eSports, MMOs, Casual, Music & Party, Social
Recommended Platforms: Tabletop, computer, mobile, Xbox, Wii
Recommended Games: League of Legends, Need for Speed, Lemmings, Monopoly, StarCraft, Mafia, Candy Crush, Clash of Clans, Monopoly, Cranium
- Want to be pro gamers
- Prefer multiplayer
- More likely to play in the defense
- Like sports/racing games
- Don’t enjoy card games
- Enjoy playing mobile games
- Likely to complete games they start
As the community took a natural turn towards gaming, ESFJs followed through. The need to fit in, however, means that ESFJs will only start playing a game after it already gained a considerable following or has been recommended by friends and family. They are not ones to brag about their gaming skills and may get embarrassed if someone points out that they’ve been spending hours on video games. Social games are the bread and butter of the ESFJ, especially sports games that they see as an extension to their already established hobbies (ex: FIFA). Second after sports and racing games comes first-person shooters, which ESFJs quite enjoy. Some of the least enjoyable genres for an ESFJ are tabletop and RPG. Not being the adventurous type naturally, the ESFJ tends to avoid exploration and open world games.
Having this innate desire to belong, multiplayer is quite the rational choice and seldom, if ever, will one find an ESFJ playing a single player game, unless it’s a casual game on mobile (ex. Candy Crush).
Why Be Friends With an ESFJ
Nothing screams healer quite like the ESFJ. These protective mama and papa bears will defend and support you with all their might. Once they see you as a friend they will stop at nothing to please you.
Inside or outside the gaming world ESFJs prove once again that they are loyal, reliable, and trustworthy allies. Their indestructible moral code not only keeps them in line but also provides inspiration for you to strengthen and consolidate your own moral backbone.
3. Organized, punctual, rule-abiding
ESFJs are natural social leaders who will rejoice in helping you set up a schedule, follow the rules, and make sure you don’t only do what needs to be done, but that you also do it in on time.
4. Fit in
ESFJs make up for about 14% if the population, therefore being the most common Feeler type and the second most common type overall. They certainly know how to fit in, attract people on their side, be social butterflies – all that while maintaining the proactive attitude typical to ESFJs.
How to Make Friends With an ESFJ
1. Follow social etiquette
If you want to befriend an ESFJ you simply cannot deviate from the norm. Being polite, having impeccable manners, and acting in conformity with what is socially accepted will make you likable amongst ESFJs.
2. Be organized and neat
This is not exactly a deal breaker because ESFJs usually take great pleasure in managing chaos, but organization and punctuality will provide a much better first impression and will strengthen the bond between you and the ESFJ.
3. Participate in social activities
Being highly social, the ESFJ prefers that the people surrounding them be too. While introverted types might intrigue an ESFJ the interest will be short lived and they will refocus on more social, extroverted types. Therefore, the best way to maintain a friendship with an ESFJ is joining their social groups.
4. Appeal to their emotional side
While ESFJs are certainly rational, they will be left cold by being presented plain, hard facts. The best way to an ESFJ’s heart is … through the heart. They love hearing your experiences and sharing their own, especially if they involve some personal, emotional elements.
Advice for ESFJs on Making Friends
1. Be yourself
Already being social butterflies, you can easily fit into groups and make new friends, while your nurturing, caring, and loving personality provides the ideal foundation for any long-lasting relationship.
2. Be relatable
You are likely an emotional IQ genius who can relate to everyone and everything. Make good use of this almost superhuman power and play it to your advantage.
3. Learn to accept and tolerate
People come in all shapes and sizes. So do personalities. Try not to pass judgment on people early on based on appearances and focus on knowing the intentions and aspirations of people beforehand, an easy feat since ESFJs inspire trust.
4. Put people at ease
Out of all types, yours is one of the best at making people feel comfortable and welcome. Oftentimes, when people talk to an ESFJ they feel like you’ve known him/her forever. No wonder your type make wonderful therapists.
Mary Tyler Moore
Now that you know everything about this type, try making friends with one, or arrange a game using our app.
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